living hay hell

I am now contacting you from the beyond as Hay Day has literally killed me.
It turns out I have gone to hell instead of heaven. It involves me on the back of a huge wagon with a two pronged pitchfork. My partner in burning alive for all eternity is Tobias. Svente drives two horses. Trailing behind my wagon is an equally evil machine which picks up the rows and rows of hay and sends it up to me. I will have to intercept this hay as it comes forever tumbling down and then use all the strength my entire body can muster to quickly pass it around and behind me so that Tobias can systematically arrange it in a massive pile that will defy physics. I will all the while need to continuously attempt to strategically climb atop the hay while this pile grows as it will otherwise eventually surpass my height. When huge amounts suddenly tumble off, and they definitely will because everything is moving too fast to arrange it in perfect balance, you'll have to shamefully circle the horses back or you might have to stop everything all together to jump down and toss it up again by hand. And when a wagon is full we will be taken to another branch of hell that requires us to take the entirety of the hay we just loaded again with our pitchforks and hurl it all into a vaccuum chute to be deposited in the barn.
The closest thing I can compare my eternal damnation to is standing on an uneven surface in a moving train, while paddling upstream in the rapids, while doing repeated pushups, while hiking up a brush covered mountain, while getting buried alive.
Oh sweet weeping Jesus, what have done to deserve this fate?