keeps on turning

You didn't know this but I actually returned "home" to Brooklyn just a couple of short weeks ago. My silence may have been an indication; the unexpected, churning, at times soul sucking, crushing whirlpool of New York existence ultimately to blame. High, low, up, down, around, upside, downside, inside, out, around again. I have to say: the usual.

The best parts have been reuniting with friends I truly missed and am so grateful just to know and have the support of and have in my life to relax with for a little longer at a bar, beach, park, or otherwise. Two of which have more than generously housed hobo me these recent weeks; the rest reminding me why I even bothered with this city in the first place.

And making it that much harder to leave.

But leave I shall. One week from today, the adventure continues.

In the meantime, I have retreated twice, a weekend upstate very the next out East. Mountaintime and her company just as epic and wonderful as ever; now currently cozy, holed up in this beloved house in Quogue. I've been sitting here for hours enjoying the purest solitude I have known in months or even years. The skies here are staying gray, offering the perfect light and backdrop to my current calm, quiet mood and mindset. What a gift to hear myself think again, to be able to tackle small life tasks leading up to my upcoming departure, to listen to my usual not-so-secret Spotify reggae radio (oops ub40?!), to drink endless coffee, to stare out the window, to not get properly dressed if I don't want to. To text all day, to read, to write. To be.

All the while I am so nervous. I am freaking out. I am overwhelmed. But I am also optimistic. I am looking forward, onward, upward, all the things.

And so here it is. My final days and minutes in this life as I have known it.

West coast: you await.

As always, to be continued...